How can we use self-compassion to connect with ourselves?


Do you often choose multi-tasking over mindfulness?  I am so guilty of multitasking around my husband and kids.  They will try to talk to me, but I listen while also doing other things.  What does that communicate to them?  I am sending the message that they are not important enough to have my full attention.  Yikes!  What a difference mindfulness can make when we stop everything, look into his/her eyes, and really focus on what he/she is telling us.  Not only will the relationship strengthen but the person sees the practice of mindfulness at work.   

Negative self-talk affects us all.  There is no escaping it.  I am no stranger to falling victim to my negative thoughts.  They can start like a trickle and quickly turn into a flood.  The vicious cycle of shaming ourselves, judging ourselves, nagging ourselves and berating ourselves can become our normal routine if we are not careful to combat it.  Friends, the negative self-talk can easily damage our lives and the lives of those we love.

Want to Create more Meaningful Connections in your life?

The Real Connection Starter Guide will give you:
* Personalized Prayers for Positive Change
* Roadmap to Real Connections
* Mind Full Eating 

Best of all, it’s completely FREE –simply opt in below!


We can change!!!  It is never too late to incorporate positive change into our life.  Dr. Shauna Shapiro, clinical psychologist, author, and mindfulness expert says that wherever you are right now is the entry point for positive change.  She tells us that a mindfulness mindset starts by seeing things clearly and being fully present in the moment.  It is a way of being, a way of living, and a way of growing.  Whatever we practice grows stronger.

Dr. Shapiro continues to say that once we start practicing mindfulness, we are laying down the pathways for positive change.  Every time we make a choice to choose differently, we are building the foundation for a new path of self-compassion.  Dr. Shapiro gives a 3-step process for practicing self-compassion:Mindfulness – Name the emotion or pain that you are experiencing.Kindness – Address yourself kindly as you recognize the emotion and encourage yourself to handle it in a positive way.Common Humanity – Recognize that you are not alone in feeling this emotion.  Imagine other women who are experiencing this same emotion and encourage yourself the same way that you would encourage them.  By practicing self-compassion, we create a learning environment to see our mistakes clearly and make real changes.  Dr. Shapiro goes on to say that self-compassion is the antidote to self-esteem and shame.  When we shame, judge, and nag ourselves, we shut down the learning centers of our brain and keep ourselves stuck in negative patterns.  Self-compassion allows us to meet each moment with fresh eyes that gives us the ability for more flexibility, open-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking.

Mindfulness and Self-Compassion help us to embrace each moment and not live on autopilot all day long.

The Word of Truth:

No wonder Jesus emphasized the importance of taking every thought captive.  He knew the intense battle of the mind.  Jesus knows our weaknesses and battles with negative self-talk.  He offers us His strength, wisdom, and courage to make positive changes.  Jesus Christ himself is LOVE, TRUTH, and DISCIPLINE.  He is all that we need to create new pathways for mindfulness and self-compassion. 

Colossians 3:12, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  Many of us may think this verse is only targeted to our relationships with others, but it is also targeted to ourselves.  Do we talk to ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience?  Jesus desires us to treat others AND ourselves with these characteristics. 

I Corinthians 10:4-5, “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Friends, this verse is life-changing and life-giving for us.  As we pursue positive changes, Jesus gives us the weapons and tools we need to put an end to the vicious cycle of shame and judgment of ourselves.  We simply surrender to His power and work with Him to love ourselves the way that He loves us.

Want to Create more Meaningful Connections in your life?

The Real Connection Starter Guide will give you:
* Personalized Prayers for Positive Change
* Roadmap to Real Connections
* Mind Full Eating 

Best of all, it’s completely FREE –simply opt in below!

Action Plan:

Resolve to create positive change in how you communicate with yourself.Commit to practicing mindfulness and self-compassion everyday.

When you recognize negative talk, BEGIN AGAIN.

Remember that wherever you are in the moment is your entry point.

Use the strength of Jesus to demolish negative self-talk and replace it with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Download the free guide Real Connection Starter Guide:

Recommended Resources:

Books by Dr. Shauna Shapiro:

Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness + Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity + Joy
Mindful Discipline: A loving approach to setting limits and raising an emotionally intelligent child
The Art and Science of Mindfulness: Integrating Mindfulness into Psychology and the Helping Professions

Ted Talk by Dr. Shauna Shapiro:
The Power of Mindfulness:  What You Practice Grows Stronger

Podcast Interview with Dr. Shauna Shapiro: The Fresh Start Family Show” Episode #49: Using Self-Compassion to Transform Your Family

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