Positive Encouragement from a Most Unlikely Source

Well, it all started with the sting of rejection.

My husband and I had started making plans for a weekend away – just the two of us – and then he decided that we should turn it into a family weekend. I felt rejected because I wanted it to be just the two of us (even though I knew in my head that he was not rejecting me).

I’ve been down the road of rejection too many times and I know that if the sting/pain isn’t dealt with immediately, it festers and will eventually be released in an unhealthy way. It can become a beach ball that you try to hold underwater. At some point, the beachball is going to emerge at the top of the water.

But, I convinced myself that I was too busy to deal with the sting of rejection.

• I was preparing one child to go to summer camp in a few days
• I was helping another child get ready for a hiking trip
• I was finalizing paperwork for an upcoming mission trip
• I was arranging business events
• I was trying to figure out the best time for dentist appointments

ALL. THE. THINGS.

There was no time to deal with the sting, so I stuffed it and told myself that I’d deal with it later. Not a good choice.

Thursday was the last day of school for 2 of my kids, so we made plans to go to a movie to celebrate.

While at the snack counter, one of my kids was fussing about having to share an item with his sibling. 

My inner dialogue:
“Coming to the movie is a privilege.”
“Getting snacks at the movie is a privilege.”
“Have I not taught you to be grateful for all blessings, even if you have to share them???”
“How can you be so selfish?”

Well, the beach ball emerged like an erupting volcano.

I snapped right there at the movie snack counter. I turned to my son and began fussing, lecturing, and verbally speaking my displeasure over his unwillingness to share.

After my rant, I turned back to the clerk at the counter who couldn’t have been more than 20 years old.

He smiled at me and said, “It’s ok, you’re doing great.”

Wow – mom guilt flooded over me like a tidal wave. Maybe the clerk was scared I would start snapping at him, but at that moment those words were exactly what I needed to hear.

“it’s ok, you’re doing great”

Even though I knew I wasn’t. The movie snack counter wasn’t the place to snap and let emotions overtake me.

But here’s the thing – when we don’t deal with hurt, rejection, or sting of pain, we never know when the beach ball will emerge. Or when we might turn into the angry hulk. 

Somehow that young man at the counter knew exactly what to say to give me encouragement, give me positive feedback, and let me know that motherhood is hard and we can’t be perfect.

With his words, all my frustration evaporated and I realized that even in our ‘ugly’ moments, God sees us and loves us no matter what.

Once we all got settled in our movie seats, I closed my eyes and thanked the Lord for the positive words of that young man.

I thanked the Lord for loving me even when I feel unlovable, even when I make so many mistakes, even when I’m negative, and even when I’m holding on by a thread.

I thanked God for using a stranger to encourage me and help me through a difficult moment instead of shaming me.

Here’s what I know:

• When you encounter rejection, hurt, and pain, deal with it immediately by being still and feeling and recognizing all the emotions.
• Talk to the Lord about all those emotions that you are feeling.
• Recognize that the Lord is the ONLY ONE who can soothe that hurt. Not food, not alcohol, not denial, not anything.
• Don’t try to hold the beach ball underwater because it will not stay there forever.

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

So the next time you see someone ‘snapping’, share a positive and encouraging word. It can be exactly what the person needs at that moment.

Have you had a snapping moment that you weren’t proud of? I’d love to hear about it and encourage you by saying:

“It’s ok; you’re doing great!”