The Best Question to Ask Yourself (and your kids).

Allow me to share a recent conversation I had with my older son:  

Him: “Mom, can I go see the new movie with everybody in my class?”
Translation: It’s probably just going to be a few people going.

Me: “What are the details?”
Him: “I dunno.”
Transalation: Why are details important?

Me: “What is the movie about?”
Him: “It’s an action movie that will be really good.”
Translation: Why all these questions? Does it really matter what the plot is?

Me: “I don’t know anything about this movie, so I will have to watch the preview and read the Christian review.”
Translation: No way am I saying yes without having more details about the movie plot.

Him: “Ugh, why can’t you just say yes?”
Translation: Please don’t watch the preview and check the review.

Me: “I’ll give you my answer tomorrow.”
Him: “Mommmmmm; it will be fine, just say yes”
Translation: Why do you have to be so difficult?

Fast forward to the next day….

​Me: “I watched the preview for the movie.”
Him: “It looks like a great movie, right?”
Me: “Why should I say yes for you to see this movie?”
Him: “I dunno. Everybody is going and it will be a cool movie.”
Translation: Why do I have to go through an interrogation just to see a movie?

Me: “If you can’t give me a good reason to say yes, why should I answer yes?”
Him: “Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Just say I can go!”
Translation: Really, mom???

Me: “My answer is no. I didn’t even need to read the review because the preview showed too much evil for our standards.”
Translation: Parents have to sometimes make tough decisions on media options.

Him: “C’mon mom. The movie won’t be that bad and everybody is going.”
Translation: I can’t believe you are being a Karen about this!

Me: “The final answer is no.”
Translation: My goal as a parent is not for my kids to like me but to make the best decisions I can.

Him: “You’re so mean!” (as he does the teenager stomp off and leaves the room)

_____
Have you ever had a similar conversation with someone? Saying no to others AND ourselves can be very difficult. Oftentimes, it’s much easier just to say yes and not worry about any consequences. However, before making a decision or giving a decision, ask this question:
“Why should I say yes?”

We can save a lot of time and frustration if we ask this question. By asking our kids this question, it gives them the opportunity to develop critical thinking skills and decipher the true motivation for the request.

By asking ourselves the same question, we can also take the time needed to really evaluate if saying yes is the best solution.

Consider:

“If I say yes to this, what does that entail? Will it cause me more or less stress? Is this the right season for me to say yes? Am I only saying yes to please others?”

So before giving an immediate answer to a request, ask the question “Why should I say yes?”
Asking this question may protect you from unwanted hardship in the future.
____

For the ending to my story, two other moms had also told their sons no to the movie request because of the evil content. My son never understood or agreed with my decision but we did have a good follow-up discussion about making educated choices.

If you are looking for a good Christian resource for reviews on movies, tv, music, YouTube channels and video games, check out Plugged In.